As a child I remember the things that I feared
Death was by far the greatest, although I had heard
That Jesus Christ loved me and He HAD to die?
But no-one explained, they just presumed I knew why?
So I didn’t dare ask, I was painfully shy!
Therefore God remained a mystery, ‘way up on high’!
I recall our ‘boring’ Sunday School, where I took nothing in?
We learned Bible verses ‘off by heart’, but I was never ‘born-again’!
I even got ‘confirmed’ in white, one of our great church ‘traditions’,
It was expected after ‘christening’, but I just went ‘through the motions!’
Still, I remember crystal-clearly, ‘Good Fridays’ on TV
Without fail, the life of Jesus would be shown
Each time, deeply moved, I cried, when I watched the way He died,
Because I ‘knew’ He HAD the power to ‘come on down!’
Yet still I didn’t know, how the Cross so long ago,
Could be up-to-date and relevant to me,
I went to work in a large town, left the church and home I’d known
And got as far away from God as I could be!!
I had a fling, did ‘my own thing’ and of course by that I mean, I was in the depths of sin!
I was empty and depressive, just like I’d always been
Always wearing a mask, putting up a ‘smokescreen’,
Naive, but feigning confidence, deep insecurity, false pride?
But suddenly, it all caught up with me, like having Mt. Vesuvius inside!
I was married 8 years, I’d just had a baby, and though almost 31, I felt I was going crazy!
God alone knows the ‘hell’ that I was in,
I was reaping consequences of a life messed up with sin!
But God sought me out and He set me on track,
Life began to change slowly and I could never go back,
To where I’d been and what I’d been for so many years before,
Life took on purpose and real meaning by Jesus Christ’s transforming power!
Date : 30/11/-0001 Author : Jenny Halligan